KHR Self Insert Drabbles REWRITTEN
by MeiMeiandBananaBread
Summary: Two mafioso from Italy arrive in Japan to ally Vongola's 10th generation. How does that turn out? Hmm, not as expected I guess. They weren't supposed to be this goofy. Rewritten version of KHR Selfinsert Drabbles from 2012 (which you do not need to read to read this).
1. Chapter 1

"Come on Tsuna, we're going to the airport," Reborn suddenly switched off the TV just before Tsuna defeated the final boss.

"Wha- Hey! Reborn!" Tsuna froze but then let out a heavy sigh. He had to do it again didn't he?! That was the second time that week! It was typical of Reborn though and Tsuna would've been naive to think that he wouldn't do something like that, really. "Why are we going to the airport?" he tiredly stood up and went towards his closet to change clothes.

Reborn smirked, "There are two people from Italy who are here to meet you. They're Vongola technically, but also associated with Varia. The Ninth and I decided to bring them here so you'll have more allies."

"Hmmm…" he really hasn't listening at all. Well, Reborn did just shut off his game - who wouldn't get angry?

After finally changing from his pajamas to a casual t-shirt and jean combination, Reborn dragged him out the door, "So slow."

"Oooiii!"

/

"Sawada Tsunayoshi, 10th Vongola boss candidate. He doesn't look all that special," the girl pushed her glasses up in a condescending manner. "Just some scrawny kid who got lucky."

The other girl, sitting in the airplane with her feet on her seat, leaned over to see the photo. "He looks special."

"How so?" she narrowed her eyes.

"His hair, it's like a hedgehog!" she pointed at her head, "How's that not special?"

"Kristina, I'm not talking about his hair. He doesn't look strong at all. He looks...like a kid."

"Hey, we're kids. Isn't that why we're going to Japan?" Kristina shrugged and put her feet down. "Italian mafia gets pretty scary sometimes, I'm glad we got to come here. Right, Jana?"

Jana put away the files back into the case neatly. "It'd be a nice change."

There was a ring in the airplane as the flight attendant spoke, "We will be landing very shortly. Please fasten your seatbelts and stow the table away to prepare for landing."

/

"Reborn...Are these people scary? Like crazy strong people who'll beat me up like you do whenever I stuff up?" He was starting to become nervous. Whenever mafioso visited him from Italy they were always scary! There were the times he became good friends with them, but Varia was another story. They were no good. At least, not to him.

Reborn glanced at his student shaking nervously. "They're your age. And no, they're not here to beat you up or anything like that. It's the opposite actually, they're here to be your friends."

"I guess that's better than them trying to kill me…" Tsuna sighed with relief. "Are they gonna be here anytime soon?"

The Arcobaleno looked around, watching everyone pass by through the airport. He didn't imagine them to stand out too much, so it was more a case of their visitors finding them first; which wasn't hard considering Tsuna's hair stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi and the Arcobaleno Reborn."

The two of them turned around to see two girls standing in front of them. "Looking for us?" one of the girls smiled and opened her hand to one side as a friendly wave.

"Hi, I'm Kristina! Nice to meet you."

The other girl smiled slightly as she pushed up her glasses. "I'm Jana." She shook hands with Reborn and then held out her hand for Tsuna.

"I'm Tsu-"

"I know," Jana smacked Tsuna on the top of the head with the profile folder and handed it to him. "This was given to me."

Tsuna giggled nervously as he opened the folder. The first page had his horrible school photo and basic information on him. The next few pages were full of more personal details that scared him about how they got out. Tsuna reminded himself to burn this folder later.

"So let's get going so we can meet up with Tsuna's guardians at the park." The two nodded as Reborn led them out of the airport.

Tsuna fidgeted with his hands as the girls looked around the town. "HHIE!"

Reborn had jumped into the air and kicked him in the back of the head. "Idiot Tsuna! Make conversation!"

"So.. uh.. How are you associated with the V-Varia…?"

"Oh," Kristina laughed as she slumped back with her hands in her pockets. "Squalo's my older brother."

The air froze. Tsuna had remembered the deafening, long-haired, terrifying, shark-like swordsman.

"And Fran's my younger brother…" Jana sighed to herself mentally face-palming.

Apple.

"Yo Tsuna, who are they?" A tall dark haired boy and ran up to Tsuna with a large grin on his face.

"Yamamoto this is-"

"Mukuro!" Jana had run up to the pineapple haired man smiling. "I haven't seen you in forever! Still rocking the pineapple I see."

"Kufufu.. since when are you in Japan?"

"Since about… an hour ago."

Tsuna tilted his head, "you know each other?"

"We're cousins," Jana said and Mukuro nodded.

"C….cousins!?" All of a sudden Tsuna became extremely scared again. Mukuro was always scary, and his logic thought that his cousin would probably be the same. However, his hyper intuition said otherwise. He tried to laugh it off, "I didn't know you had a cousin, Mukuro."

"Now you do, Sawada Tsunayoshi," Mukuro smiled.

Everything became silent again and Tsuna cleared his throat. "So," he turned to his guardians, "this is Jana and Kristina, they're our new allies." Both of the girls said hi again. He was glad that they were getting along...so far.

Yamamoto smiled and scratched the raven locks of his hair, "Hi! I'm Yamamoto Takeshi. Hmm...what should I say?" he mumbled to himself but then shrugged, "I love baseball and my dad owns a sushi shop."

Another guardian with short and spiky silver hair and nose bandage held out his fist, "I'm Sasagawa Ryohei, to the extreme! My dream one day is to become a professional boxer! Nice to meet you to the extreme!"

The girls were taken by surprise - two guardians introduce themselves and already they've got a large variety of people. Kristina smiled, "Nice to meet you," she bumped fists with him.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a child jumped out from behind Yamamoto's leg. The boy wore a cow suit and had a large afro, "Who am I~ I am Lambo~" he sung softly to himself.

Yamamoto kneeled on the ground and put his hand on Lambo's head. "Lambo, why don't you introduce yourself?"

Lambo looked curiously at the new faces in front of him. He suddenly jumped into the space between the girls and the Vongola, throwing his head back and laughing obnoxiously. "I am Lambo!" Then he pointed at them, "You two are going to be my new servants!"

Jana was dumbfounded. "...Servants?"

"Ugh, shut up you stupid cow!" another male with silver hair reaching to his shoulders crossed his arms and grumbled. He noticed the girls' attention and then sighed, "I'm Gokudera Hayato, the Tenth's right hand man and storm guardian. Nice to meet you." Gokudera averted his eyes away and looked into space, not wanting to make eye contact.

The only one who neither of them knew was a distant looking male a considerable distance from the crowd. They weren't even aware if he was paying attention to them because there was a small yellow bird resting on his finger. Tsuna looked at him, and then back to the girls. "This is Hibari-san. He's the cloud guardian and leader of our school's disciplinary committee." Suddenly he lowered his voice into a frightened whisper, "He doesn't like crowds at all, so I think you should stay away from him as much as possible."

"Uh...okay," Jana didn't say another word.

"Kufufu, and as Jana knows, I am Rokudo Mukuro." The pineapple head didn't bother to say anything else.

Tsuna looked around, making sure everyone introduced themselves. "Wait," he said, "where's Chrome?"

Kristina looked at Jana, "Aren't there only six guardians?"

"Chrome and Mukuro," Gokudera interrupted, "they used to share the same body and were both the mist guardians. But some stuff happened, and now they're separate again."

Chrome rushed towards them and stopped, catching her breath when she arrived. She looked at everyone and got slightly embarrassed when everyone was staring at her. "My name is Chrome Dokuro," she straightened up and smiled. "Nice to meet you."

Jana and Kristina looked at each other again, "So that leaves us huh?" Kristina smiled and then looked at everyone, "I'm Kristina. I'm not that special of a mafioso, so I guess I'll just say I have cloud flames and that I love music."

"Um… I'm Jana. I have mist flames, I also love music, anime and anything involving fantasy or horror really. Pissing the Varia off is pretty fun too I guess. But I guess I'm also really clumsy so… yeah."

/

Reborn slammed opened the bedroom door and kicked Tsuna out of bed. "Get up it's time for school!"

"Hu-?" The infant jumped on Tsuna's head, pressing it against the floor. After a few seconds Tsuna pushed Reborn off and struggled onto his feet while rubbing the back of his head. "Ow Reborn! There was no need for that."

"Hurry and get dressed or you'll be late for school," with that the Arcobaleno walked out of Tsuna's room kicking the door closed.

Tsuna quickly slipped on his uniform and grabbed his bag, afraid of being attacked again. He was about to race down the stairs, but not before checking the time. 6:30AM. Tsuna sprinted down the hallway and steps, stumbling a few times and almost missing a step once or twice. "Reborn! Why'd you wake me up so early? I'm not going to be late to school."

Reborn crossed his arms as he threw Tsuna a piece of toast and opened the front door. "You've got to show your new allies/friends around the school. They're not going to know where the office or anything is."

"But why do we have to be so early. Hibari-san will kill me if we enter the school early."

"Because I said so! Yamamoto will be there anyway, he has baseball this morning."

Tsuna sighed and began walking to school. It was so quiet this morning that he could hear his own hair rustling in the wind - not that, that was very important. But he thought it was cool, it's not like it happens everyday.

As the two neared closer to the front of the school, Tsuna could see Jana and Kristina leaning against the gate with headphones in their ears.

Kristina looked up and noticed them. She puts aways the earbuds and ran up to the two. "Hey!"

Jana also looked up. Pushing her glasses up she took out one earbud and walked up to them. "Morning."

"Morning," Tsuna said as he approached the school gate. "I don't know if the school's open, is Yamamoto here?"

"Hmm...didn't see him but," Kristina suddenly heard the bang of a bat hitting a baseball. There was also distant shouting from inside the gate. "I guess it's open."

"So you're going to show us around?" Jana asked.

Tsuna nodded, "Yeah, Reborn kicked me out of the house so I could come to school early and show you guys around." Next to the gate was a door, and Tsuna opened it. "The gate opens at 7, before then we use this door."

He took them around the outside of the school first, showing them the club building and the gymnasium. As the three of them got closer to the gym, the shouting and the baseball hitting started to get louder. "Here's the baseball field," Tsuna said, "it's also used for P.E a lot of the time. You can see the gym equipment and stuff near the base over there and there's also the two soccer goals on either side.

Inside the gymnasium we have basketball courts and a stage which they use for assemblies and ceremonies."

The hallways of the inside of the school were completely silent. It was odd for Tsuna since he was either on time or late, but never early. To be able to walk through the empty hallway without the stress of rushing was different to him. "The first three levels are the core classrooms where you'll have most of your classes." He turned to Kristina and Jana, "Which class are you guys in?"

"2-A, same as you," Jana said.

"Well, it's right here," Tsuna giggled and showed them the sign above the door. "The science rooms are just along the hallway, and the art room is upstairs along with the nurse and some other rooms that don't really matter. The staffroom is all the way at the end. And…" he looked outside the window and scanned the building, "I think that's all you really need to know."

Kristina scratched the back of her head, "Hmm...I feel like I'm gonna get lost in here. Everything looks the same…"

"Eh?" Tsuna blinked, "Well, you just remember where everything is, I guess. What was school in Italy like?"

"Uh, since we're mafioso kids our school was pretty much a castle."

"She knows the castle as well as the palm of her hand but she's afraid of getting lost in a Japanese middle school," Jana sighed, "I don't see the logic in that."

"Well not everything needs to be logical. Anyway, in the castle most things were different. Everything is so similar here it's quite creepy."

Tsuna looked around and laughed to himself, "well it might not be as fancy here as in Italy with the Varia and rest of Vongola. But it's got its own personality, haha."

The bell suddenly rang as people started crowding the previously empty hallways.

END OF CHAPTER


	2. Chapter 2: Karaoke

Almost a week had passed and it was finally Friday afternoon at school. Kristina and Jana had finally gotten used to life in Japan - scratch that. Kristina was still getting lost in the school. You'd see her walking down the halls very confused, trying desperately to find class 2-A. To no avail however, the art classroom, the janitors closet and dare to say Hibari's office were all intruded throughout the week.

This Friday however, Kristina did manage to only turn up to class ten minutes late.

"S-sorry!" As she sat down, Jana leaned over and whispered in her ear, laughing slightly.

"Still getting lost somehow?"

"It all looks the same okay?! It's like they have no imagination designing buildings."

Tsuna laughed awkwardly to himself, "don't worry. You'll get used to it, eventually." Kristina only sighed and focused on the teacher for the rest of the class.

When the bell finally rang to signify the end of school, everyone stood up and walked over to Tsuna's desk.

"So what should we do this weekend?"

"I have an idea!" Kyoko's eyes lit up as she thought of something. "How about we go to karaoke and we can invite Haru-chan!"

"Oh! That sounds like a good idea!" Tsuna looked at Jana and Kristina, "What do you guys think? It'd be our first time hanging out together on a weekend. We can show you around town too."

"Could we?" Jana asked.

"Well since the Tenth said so," Gokudera said. "I'll warn you though, the stupid woman might catch you off guard?"

"Stupid woman?" Kristina raised her eyebrow.

Hana cleared her throat, "Haru's our friend who goes to a different all-girls school." She snapped at Gokudera, "And she's not a stupid woman!"

"She's a little loud and talkative but she's not a bad person. It depends, some people might think she's annoying but she's just really outgoing," Yamamoto shrugged.

Kyoko clapped her hands together, "Should we go tomorrow then?"

"Yeah," Hana nodded, "How about ten and then we can all get lunch together if you want."

"Hey, we could come to my place for sushi!" Yamamoto beamed.

"So it's settled huh?" Kyoko smiled, "I'll come pick you two up in the morning. Where do you guys live?"

Jana and Kristina gave Kyoko their addresses while everyone else left. They said their byes to each other and everyone went home. Well, except Yamamoto of course - he had baseball. Gokudera left the room grumbling, saying that he wasn't in the mood to socialise with new people. "Come on Gokudera-kun, it'll be fun," Tsuna said as they left the room.

As they walked home, Jana and Kristina recounted their first week at Namimori. Firstly, Kristina kept getting lost. On the other hand, Jana thought the floors were slippery and every now and then she'd slip and almost fall over. Neither of them really struggled with the school work since mafia schools were really prestigious because of their high class education. They also talked about what the thought of their new friends and classmates. A lot of them were really nice, and also curious about their lives in Italy. Though all their answers were completely untrue, obviously.

/

Saturday morning came by and there was a knock on the door. Jana, already being up bright and early went to go answer it, "Hello?"

She opened the door and standing outside was Kyoko, along with Ryohei. "Good morning! Ready to go?"

Ryohei being there took Jana by surprise. "Uh, yeah, at least I am. Kristina however…" she looked behind her and saw Kristina rushing to the door continuously shouting that she was 'ready'. But she got there.

Kyoko smiled, "Well let's go then."

Kristina locked the door as they left the small apartment. Kyoko started off the conversation, "I'm sure Reborn-kun introduced him, but this is my brother, Ryohei."

"Hello to the extreme!"

She giggled. "Anyway, he just decided to come along with us today, I hope you don't mind."

"That's okay," Kristina laughed nervously, "The more the merrier I guess."

/

Around eleven, everyone had finally made it to the entrance of the karaoke bar. Everyone had already been there for thirty minutes as they were only waiting for Tsuna to arrive.

"I wonder what's taking Tsuna-san so long… what if something has happened again? What if he was eaten by a giant shark!" Haru bit her lip nervously as she glanced in every direction multiple times.

Gokudera face-palmed, "how would a shark even be on land? Stupid woman!"

"I'd think you'd be able to hear it if a giant shark was anywhere nearby," Kristina laughed at her own inside joke that no one around them besides Jana understood, who laughed alongside her.

"Who knows, maybe the shark finally got enough brain damage and got lost. If you pay attention, you might be able to smell the alcohol soaking him." Jana and Kristina laughed again at their own jokes.

"What are you laughing about so extremely?!" Ryohei's brow creased, he was frustrated about not being able to join in on the joke.

"Oh it's nothing, nothing!" The girls laughed in unison. After a few more minutes of them laughing and everyone else becoming even more confused, Kyoko finally spotted Tsuna running down the street towards them with Reborn resting on his head.

"Tsuna-kun!"

"Sorry I'm so late everyone!"

Haru still seemed very worried, "what happened? Were you attacked by a giant shark?"

Jana and Kristina tried to hold in their laughter.

"Maybe the shark was looking for a skewered apple," Kristina giggled to which Jana cracked up even more at the references everyone still did not understand. The group finally concluded it had something to do with Italy and they would ask about it later during karaoke.

"W-what no…. Lambo just kept whining about wanting to come as well. And it wasn't until after about thirty minutes of struggle and the promise of grape juice that he finally gave up. Well sorry again, but I guess we should go in."

The karaoke bar was quite empty this Saturday. There were only a few other people from around Namimori, but no one they knew personally.

"So who wants to go first?" Yamamoto asked after he brought over a plate of fries for the group.

The whole group silenced and look around at each other, hoping someone else would hop up first and start the party. Suddenly Kyoko looked at Haru, "Should we go first?"

"Well since no one else is," she beamed as she and Kyoko stood up. "Come on, Hana-chan!" Haru grabbed Hana's arm and dragged her to her feet.

"Wh-what!? Haru!" she tried to run back but a microphone was already passed to her. "I never agreed to go first!"

"It's okay, Hana!" Kyoko looked over her shoulder as she and Haru were looking through the song list. "We're all singing together, so it doesn't matter if you're bad!"

"That's not the problem!" she objected. But then she sighed and mumbled, "Whatever…"

Kyoko scrolled down on the small screen and spotted the artist 'D-51', and their song 'Familia'. "I know that song!" she exclaimed. "Hana-chan, Haru-chan, do you two know it?"

"Oh! Haru knows that song!" she started jumping up and down. Hana shook her head, saying she didn't know it.

But they selected it anyway, much to Hana's despair.

The mellow synthesized keyboard music started playing in the speakers. Kyoko and Haru cheered, "Yeaaah!" while Hana awkwardly joined in a second after them. When the verse started, Kyoko sung the first line, very fluently at that. Halfway through her line she suddenly pointed to Haru, who then sung the second line. Then came Hana's turn, who got the longest part of the three of them and she quietly hummed the tune to the best of her abilities.

Kyoko and Haru suddenly grabbed Hana by the shoulders and they pulled her into a close huddle as they sung the fourth line and the chorus together. Haru also occasionally pointed to the people sitting down and winked at them for extra dramatic effect. In the final chorus everyone else also joined in and started clapping together to the beat. There were smiles on everyone's faces (well, except Hana maybe) as they sung together until the end of the song, when it started to fade out.

Everyone started cheering while the girls stepped off the stage to sit back down with everyone else. Hana hastily sat down with her head in her hands, "That was so embarrassing."

"Aaw it's okay, Hana-chan," Kyoko patted her back, "It wasn't that bad. No one was laughing. It's just good fun."

She sighed and looked back up, "I guess so."

Ryohei suddenly stood up, looking straight ahead to the TV screen with a determined grin on his face. "I'm gonna go next!"

"GO LAWN-HEAD!" Gokudera cheered sarcastically.

"I'LL GET WAY MORE POINTS THAN YOU, OCTOPUS HEAD!" Ryohei jumped up onto the stage and took one of the microphones. It didn't take him long to pick a song at all. The lyrics started on the screen, and everyone in the room knew what the song it was.

He cleared his throat and began to sing in a raspy and out-of-tune voice, "LISTEN TO THE STEREO TONIGHT! TONIGHT! TONIGHT! Hurry up, LET'S PLAY AGAIN!" he pointed to Gokudera and suddenly started headbanging and playing air-guitar when the riff started.

Gokudera sat there unamused - lawn-head wasn't going to get anywhere by just shouting at into the microphone. When Ryohei finished his song and jumped off the stage, he passed the mic to Gokudera and challenged him to one up him - and Gokudera accepted. He grabbed Tsuna's arm and also pulled him to the stage. "Come on Tenth, we'll show him."

"W-wait! Gokudera-kun!"

"Haha, it's okay Tsuna, I'll join you guys!" Yamamoto laughed as he also stepped onto the stage.

"Yamamoto…"

"Get off the stage! This is the Tenth's and my song!" Gokudera raged and tried to drag Yamamoto off, pissed that he intruded.

Tsuna stepped in between the two, trying to push them apart. "Ah, Gokudera-kun. It's okay he can join us."

"Tenth?"

"Dame-Tsuna hurry up! We're all waiting!" Reborn shouted from the high table with fries stuffed in his mouth.

"So uh, what should we sing?" Tsuna scrolled through the screen trying to find a song he wouldn't embarrass himself too much with.

"Hey what about this song!" Yamamoto pointed to the line that read 'Funny Sunny Day'. "It's a pretty upbeat song and it reminds me of when we went to the future. Haha that was kind of fun. Remember we saw your sister, Gokudera!"

Gokudera scowled, "how was that in the slightest bit fun…"

"I think that's a good song," Tsuna laughed nervously to himself. All he cared about was the fact that he could sing less because there were three of them. He hit play on the screen and the guitar began to play.

They all took turns singing a line each until it reached the chorus when they all sang together. "Funny day! Funny face! Funny place!" The whole karaoke bar began to cheer as they seemed like they were enjoying themselves. "Funny day! Happy Day!" The three continued singing enthusiastically until the song ended on the guitar.

"Tsuna-kun that was so good!"

"Tsuna-san you were so cool!"

Tsuna rubbed the back of his head while looking down to hide his blush. He laughed shyly, "thanks…"

"Take that lawn-head we destroyed you!" Gokudera cheered as he also jumped off the stage.

Yamamoto handed two microphones to Kristina and Jana, "your turn!"

"Um…" Jana looked around nervously, trying to find a way to get out of going on stage.

"Come ooon!" Kristina pushed her onto the stage, "It'll be fun! I've already got a song we can sing!" Jana waited on the side nervously while Kristina chose the song. "Truth is, I'm really nervous too but it's just fun. It's not the end of the world. Speaking of world…"

Jana suddenly got it, "Wait a second…"

The upbeat hi-hat with guitar and tangy slap bass started. Kristina quickly tossed Jana the microphone. They waited for the drums to jump up in the air and break into hardcore rapping, "JUMPING!" Kristina spun around from side to side on the stage while rapping together with Jana, who was also rapping at full speed, full fluency. Literally no one expected them to be so good and everyone's jaws were down to the floor.

Then they joined in the middle and pointed finger guns to their audience, "B-B-B-B-BURNING! HIT TIME!" Kristina started singing the first verse, and after a few lines Jana took the spotlight. The two of them kept switching over through the song until the last two lines of the chorus when they sung together. They started headbanging to the slap bass again until the end of the final chord.

Everyone in the room started clapping and Reborn said, "I think we have our winner here." He stood up with the third microphone that was left in front of him, "So our winners for today are our guests from Varia, Jana and Kristina!"

"WE DID IT!" the girls gave each other double high fives and the others excitedly ran up to them and gave them hugs.

"You guys were awesome!" Haru hugged them tightly and excitedly.

Ryohei pouted, "I was still awesome to the extreme too!"

"No you weren't," Gokudera mumbled.

"WHAT WAS THAT, OCTOPUS-HEAD?!"

Everyone started laughing together as the boys quarreled until Kristina's phone rung and she picked it up while everyone started joking around about who it was from. "Oi oi, I don't have a boyfriend or anything!" She held her phone to her ear, "Hello?"

"VOOOOOOOIIIIIII!"

Kristina shrieked and pulled the phone away from her ear, "Squalo, what is it!?" she had to speak into the phone from a distance. Even without the phone on speaker everyone could hear the conversation.

"I just got off of a mission with an idiot so I thought I'd check up!"

Jana heard Squalo and ran up to Kristina's phone. "Yo, Squalo! What's up!" She laughed as she shouted directly into the phone.

"VOI! Is that the idiot's sister?!"

Jana grinned, "oh so you were talking about Fran! How's the apple doing all by himself?"

"VOOOIII! Why the FUCK didn't you also bring him to Japan?!"

Kristina turned the phone back to her, "woah calm down! You're probably overreacting. Anyway you're ruining our amazing win at karaoke."

"Like I give about you winning karaoke! You shouldn't be dawdling and playing games! VOI! Back to the topic - ME BEING DRAGGED TO SOME STICKY BLOOD FOREST THAT IS THE IDIOT'S 'WONDERLAND' TO SEE IF I SURVIVE THAT SHIT IS NOT OVERREACTING! I SWEAR I WILL KICK THAT KID OUT OF ITALY THE SECOND I GET MY HANDS ON HIM! VOOII!"

Jana fell to the ground and began hysterically laughing as she remembered Fran telling her about his 'Wonderland'. Tsuna became quite nervous as he continued to listen to the phone conversation between Squalo and Kristina until one of them hung up.

"How are you not scared of them?"

Kristina and Jana looked up at the same time, "they're really just idiots."

"Anyway, sorry about that," Kristina laughed, rubbing the back of her neck. "Squalo's kind of a pain sometimes.

"How did you guys even become associated with that group?" Tsuna laughed nervously to himself as the others nodded. They were all actually very interested. Kristina and Jana looked at each other hesitantly.

Reborn nodded, "just tell them. I've heard Fran and Jana's story is quite funny and I have been wanting to hear it."

Kristina nodded her head and smiled, "sure! Well as you've probably found out, Squalo and I are siblings."

"You…?" Gokudera narrowed his eyes, "are related to that obnoxiously loud shark?"

"Hm yeah. We used to be part of a different mafia family, but he joined Varia 10ish years ago so I've been associated with them since then. Also Jana is Fran's older sister."

"The apple? Is that why she keeps making fun of him?" Ryohei asked.

Jana shrugged, "Pretty much. When Mukuro and Squalo went to find Fran a while ago in France, I was there too. I stayed at our grandma's cottage so neither of them saw me. But when Fran came home to say he was leaving, grandma told me to go with him to take care of him. I'm surprised she just let him go like that. I mean, from a normal person's point of view both Kokuyo and Varia are pretty scary. Even if one of them is family."

"That's because your grandma's chill," Kristina mumbled.

"I didn't know Squalo had a younger sister, or that Fran had an older one," Yamamoto said, "that's pretty interesting! Because neither of you look like them!"

They looked at each other, "We really don't huh."

"Well you learn something new everyday," Reborn jumped off the seat. "Since we have our winners and their stories, we've got nothing else to do. Let's all go to Yamamoto's place."

"EXTREME SUSHI!"

/

"Hey Dad!" Yamamoto opened the door to the restaurant and let everyone inside, "I brought friends over for lunch!"

Tsuyoshi looked up while he was cutting some sashimi, "Yo!" He noticed Jana and Kristina standing with them. "Oh, new faces! Lovely ones too."

"I'm Kristina!"

"And I'm Jana. Nice to meet you, Yamamoto."

"You can just call me Tsuyoshi," he flashed his teeth in a smile, "Why don't you guys sit down and I'll get you all something. Don't worry about paying, we've made plenty of money today."

They gave their thanks and sat down at the table in the back corner.


	3. Chapter 3: Steak

**Chapter 3 - Steak**

"GO MAKE BETTER STEAK!" Xanxus threw his plate at Squalo's head and SMASH! It cracked into pieces and rained on the carpet.

Lussuria bit his lip, "But we can't make steak as well as Kristina and Jana do-"

"I SAID MAKE ME STEAK OR FIND OUT HOW, TRASH!" he ordered.

The other Varia members had no choice. They looked at each other and all went to the kitchen together.

/

"Sorry, we can't make steak that high of quality," one of the chefs shook his head. Even though they usually cooked the food for Varia, lately Xanxus wasn't so impressed with their steak in particular because the girls weren't around.

"Fuck, we're gonna die," Squalo clicked his tongue.

A light bulb suddenly flashed in Lussuria's head, "Oh! None of us have actually tried cooking steak before, why don't we try it now? I mean, we could secretly be really good at it." The other captains all stared at each other, waiting for someone to agree. But eventually Fran did first.

"Looks like I'll go first then," Lussuria took off his coat and rolled his sleeves up to his elbow.

"Don't die," Levi muttered as he walked to the side.

"Before I start, who knows what steak he actually likes?" Lussuria looked around at everyone, but he got no answer. He sighed and sagged his shoulders, "I'll just try medium rare…"

/

"THIS IS WORSE THAN BEFORE!" Xanxus threw the plate at Squalo's head again.

"VOOOII STOP DOING THAT!" Squalo stomped his foot and glared viciously at his boss.

"MAKE IT AGAIN!"

Lussuria scurried towards the kitchen, "I'll make rare then…"

/

"IT STILL TASTES LIKE SHIT," the angry boss threw yet another plate at Squalo's head.

"VOOOIII! STOP THROWING YOUR PLATES AT MY HEAD, BOSS!" without hesitation, he grabbed the porcelain fragments off his head and raised his arm back, threatening to throw them in his face.

"NOO DON'T DO IT!" Lussuria grabbed Squalo from behind and dragged him away from Xanxus.

Lussuria wasn't doing it right, someone else had to take the initiative. Levi stepped forward and towered over everyone with a serious but prideful look on his face. "I'll make it this time." He was Xanxus' right-hand man, he knew his boss better than anyone else. He could make the steak better than anyone else.

Fran mumbled, "Do your worst, Levi-san."

Levi grabbed another piece of raw meat from one of the many fridges in the kitchen. He quickly thought to himself what his boss might like best while the others watched on tentatively - they were all afraid for their lives at the moment. After another moment, Levi finally decided that Xanxus likes things plain and straightforward so therefore, he must also like his steak with nothing on or in it. He decided he'd make a well-done steak with no marinade, sides, sauces or spices.

Levi placed the steak on the frying pan and let it cook until there was not even the slightest bit of pink left. Once it was done he slid it onto the plate and served it to Xanxus who was still sitting grumpily at the dining room table with a bottle of whisky in hand.

Xanxus took one bite of the meal and before he could even finish swallowing the piece he threw the plate of steak at Levi's head. He also spit out the piece of meat at him as well.

"IT'S WORSE THAN LUSSURIA'S!"

Squalo threw his hands up in victory as he walked far away from the dining room table. "VOI, YES! He didn't throw anything at me this time!" And before Xanxus could do anything to him after hearing that, Squalo quickly sprinted back into the kitchen.

"Ishishi, my turn," Bel chuckled as he passed the maid cleaning up Xanxus' mess on the floor and followed the others into the kitchen.

/

The other Varia captains were sitting on benches, tables or standing as they watched, expecting Bel to open the fridge for meat. However, Bel instead took his phone out of his pocket.

Fran hopped of the kitchen counter and walked over to him. "Bel-senpai, what are you doing?"

"Since the prince is a genius, I thought of the most brilliant plan," Bel laughed again as he checked his contacts for the number and put his phone up to his ear.

"Voi who are you calling?"

"Ishishi, you will see… you'll all owe the prince."

The dial kept ringing until someone picked it up. "Hello?" It was Jana.

"Ishishishi, hello~" he said in a voice where they could recognise him best, "Could you give me the recipe for that steak of yours and Kristina's?"

"Bel? Why do you need it?"

"Boss misses your steak."

Jana turned away from the phone, "Hey Kristina, they're asking for our steak recipe, Bel needs it."

"What? It takes like an hour to make, it's gonna take a while," she said.

Bel overheard them, "Just do it."

Kristina groaned.

/

"IT STILL TASTES LIKE TRASH," Xanxus was back to throwing the plates at Squalo's head.

Lussuria couldn't believe it. "But this was the girls' recipe…"

"IT'S NOTHING LIKE IT. MAKE IT RIGHT NEXT TIME."

Levi lost all the hope and determination he had. He, his right-hand man, couldn't make the best steak for him. He felt a sinkhole forming in his chest, until…

The door of the dining room opened and Marmon slowly drifted into the room. "Honestly, you're all so noisy. I decided to make this steak just so you can shut up. Fran, come on, we're going to the kitchen," Marmon ordered and left the others completely confused.

Squalo leaned towards Lussuria, "Can Marmon really make steak…?"

"You interrupt me and you're giving me 50% of your next salary," he snapped.

/

Xanxus chowed down on his steak without a single complaint, and the rest of Varia were completely shocked. "Marmon actually did make it…" Squalo said quietly.

Bel looked straight at Fran, "Apple, you went with him. What did he do?"

"Can't say," Fran shrugged, "but next time Jana and Kristina are here can we get them to teach the chefs how to make it?" He then zipped his lips.

"So what are we going to do before then!?" Squalo asked...loudly.

"Get Marmon to cook it, duh~"

"I would expect 8000euros from all of you each time," Marmon glared at them.

So that idea went out the window. "I don't approve of this," Squalo frowned.

"Fine by me," Marmon condescendingly turned away from them, "but it's not my fault if Boss kills all of you."

Bel asked Fran again, "Apple, can't you make it without Marmon being there?"

"No, unless he gives me permission."

"I'm not doing either of those without a fee."

Squalo screamed, "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"What did we do wrong?" Lussuria sulked to the floor, "I thought we made the girls' steak properly. I thought we were going to live."

"VOI HOW SHOULD I KNOW?"

Everyone walked back into the kitchen (besides Marmon who left a while ago once it was confirmed he wouldn't be making more money) and lingered quietly for a few minutes. They were all trying to think of a new idea to save themselves. Well almost everyone, Fran being so young was just sitting in the corner playing with an illusion of a miniature Bel and Mukuro. They were both running in circles as Fran continually squashed them with his hands.

Squalo paced up and down the kitchen grumbling to himself about how much of annoying boss he had but was interrupted when he heard Bel laughing from his position sitting crossed legged on the kitchen counter.

"Ishishi, I have an idea." Everyone looked towards Bel, signalling him to continue. "Can't we just video chat to make it with the girls?"

Fran stood up and walked over to Bel as his illusions disappeared. "Good idea, senpai! Good Job!" He gave Bel two thumbs up.

/

The Varia sat around the computer in the kitchen waiting for the video call to pick up.

"Hello?" Jana's face appeared on the screen.

Fran pressed his face up to the camera until it covered the whole screen. "Show us how to make the steak."

"Woah," Jana move away from the camera. "Kristina already wrote out the recipe, why do you need it again?" She smirked.

"VOI! Shut up it didn't work!" Squalo pulled Fran away from the computer. "Just show us how to do it!"

Jana laughed as she called Kristina into the room to help explain the recipe.

/

"Okay, once you finish marinating the steak cook it medium-rare. That's Xanxus' favorite," Kristina giggled as she watched the Varia clumsy try make the steak.

"I knew it was!" Lussuria exclaimed.

"Make sure you season it while it's still cooking, it helps absorb all the flavors." Jana added as she read out the spices to use. "Also remember to serve the steak Cabernet Sauvignon. It is a great red wine with steak. If you give him anything else, the flavor is ruined and makes Xanxus more grumpy."

Squalo growled as he remembered Xanxus was holding a bottle of whisky throughout this cooking incident.

"So is that enough or do you need us to explain it again in slow motion," Kristina laughed as she watched her brother fuming on the other side of the camera.

Levi's eye twitched, "I think we're fine." The humiliation of needing to be taught the recipe twice was too much.

"Well now you know huh?" they smiled and laughed. "Anyway, it's kinda late over here right now so we've gotta go."

"Eehhh?" Fran droned, "Already?"

"Somebody's missing his big sister," Bel tried not to laugh.

Kristina looked at the clock behind her, "It's almost midnight…" she turned back to the camera, "But it's okay, Jana misses you too."

Jana mumbled, "No I don't."

"Aw don't say that," she laughed. "Anyway, bye bye!" And she turned off the webcam and ended the call.

END OF CHAPTER


	4. Chapter 4: Fran Comes to Japan

**Chapter 4 - Fran comes to Japan**

"VOOOOOOOIIIII! FRAN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS MANSION!" Squalo screamed as he grabbed a suitcase and threw it outside the mansion doors to a man in a suit. He then grabbed Fran and pushed him into the black car sitting on the road in front of the gates. "You're leaving Italy for a while! I'm done with your shit!"

/ Flashback /

_Fran and Squalo had both just gotten back from a mission. Squalo was covered in mud and blood while Fran was spot free humming behind him. _

"_Voi Fran! Why did you have to make that mission so difficult?! I don't need you creating more enemies and traps! We're meant to be on the same side!"_

/ Another Flashback /

_Squalo had just gotten out of the shower from washing his hair with his new shampoo. Once he towel dried it, he walked down the halls of the mansion to the dining room ready for some dinner. As he walked in, everyone was already sitting down and eating. Squalo sat down on an empty seat and began to chow down on his food, already expecting the arguing between them to begin._

_However, it didn't. It was too quiet. Squalo looked up from his meal and was about to ask what was going on but stopped when he saw everyone trying to hold in laughter - even Xanxus._

"_Voi what's so funny?" _

"_Ishishi are you trying out a new look?"_

"_Wha-"_

_Fran raised his arm and exclaimed monotonously, "We're like twins!"_

_Squalo was about to ask what Fran was talking about until he saw his hair fall over his shoulder. It shone a bright teal green - just like Fran's hair. "VOOOOOIII! FRAN!"_

/ Another Flashback /

_Fran opened the door over twice his height, and peeped through the small gap. Squalo looked up from his desk, "What do you want, Fran?"_

"_Captaaaiiin, I'm going to go play outside."_

_Squalo sighed and then closed his eyes, trying to keep calm. "Okay," he shooed him off, "go have fun. Be back before dinner and try not to get killed...or kidnapped, whatever."_

"_Okaaay," Fran closed the door and walked towards the front door of the castle. He held his hand in front of his lips and snorted, "Captain secretly has a big heart."_

_**Later….**_

"_VOI FRAN! WHY DID YOU GET THE FLOOR SO MUDDY?"_

"_I asked if I could go play outside and you said okay."_

"_THAT DIDN'T MEAN YOU COULD GET EVERYTHING DIRTY! DID YOU KNOW THAT MUD IS A BITCH TO CLEAN OFF CARPET?"_

"_I am a child, please do not use foul language in my presence."_

_Squalo ran his fingers through his hair, gritting his teeth together and releasing every possible noise of pure frustration he could muster._

/ Another Flashback /

_Squalo was sitting at his office desk after another long day of torture from the apple. He growled as he finally picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. It rung for a few seconds until the person picked up - success._

"_Kufufu… Hello?"_

"_VOI! You're babysitting your apple cousin for a while. I'm done dealing with him!" Squalo punched his desk, trying to let out some of the frustration he felt towards Fran._

_Mukuro scowled through the phone, knowing what was coming his way. "Shit…"_

"_He'll be there in three days!" And before Mukuro could protest, Squalo hung up the phone._

/ Present /

"Have a nice time away from me!" Squalo laughed to himself as the car drove away. Fran pressed his face up against the glass window as he watched the Varia mansion disappear through the trees. His surroundings zoomed by outside of the car. Fran looked around; it was a small car. Squalo obviously didn't bother to provide him comfort.

The interior of the car was completely silent as the driver just did his job and drove him to the airport. He went through the whole process without many problems, and when he arrived at the gate he sat down.

There wasn't anything to do. It wasn't like he had a phone or anything, or an iPod, so he sat in his chair swinging his legs back and forth and looking out the window to see if the plane was there yet. But eventually he finally saw the plane turning and slowing to a stop. Then there was a ding and everyone around him started to stand up to board the plane.

/

"Mukuro-saaan," Ken sat up on the couch and noticed Mukuro putting on his jacket very, very early in the morning. "Where are you going, byon?"

Mukuro's eye twitched and he took a deep breath, "I need to go pick up someone. I'll be back soon."

"Pick up someone?" he asked as Mukuro went to leave the room, "Who is it?"

He stopped in his tracks without facing Ken. He inhaled, then sighed, "Somebody that honestly, you do not want to be around." With that he left Kokuyo land.

Ken watched Mukuro leave the room looking considerably agitated. It wasn't like him at all to be so hesitant about meeting someone. Usually he'd laugh and give a clue. Well, he gave a clue but he didn't laugh...at all. He looked over at the couch across him and saw Chikusa fast asleep. "Oi Chikusaaa." He stood up and walked towards him. "Chikusaaaa, wake up, byon."

Chikusa was shaken awake. As he saw Ken leaning over him he sighed, "Ken, what do you want?"

"Mukuro-san went to go meet someone but he didn't tell me who it is, byon."

He sat up and stared at his friend with squinted eyes. Did that really matter so much that he had to wake him up!? "What did he say?"

"He said it's someone I don't want to be around, byon."

Chikusa narrowed his eyes even more and thought about it. Suddenly he gasped as he remembered seeing Mukuro on the phone the day before, frozen in place with wide eyes, completely speechless. He also remembered a loud, raspy, crackling voice. "Fran!" he exclaimed.

"That apple!?" Ken stepped back. "Why's he coming here?!"

"HEY!" the boys turned to the door and saw M.M standing there looking extremely unimpressed. "Don't you know that I'm trying to get some beauty sleep?!"

"But M.M!" Ken protested, "Fran's coming to Kokuyo Land!"

She froze. Her expression softened, but it became a face of despair and disbelief that reached the point of emotionlessness. "Mukuro-chan...why…"

/

Mukuro stood in the far corner of the baggage collection area, waiting for Fran to arrive. This just had to happen again, he thought he was done with this idiot. After about twenty minutes from when it was announced the plane landed, people began showing up from customs. Mukuro was becoming anxious, he was not looking forward to this. Squalo didn't even specify how long the idiot would be staying with him.

Ten minutes later and a bright, red apple hat popped out of the gate. Mukuro sighed and began to walk up to Fran. The kid looked his direction and outstretched his arm trying to get a hug.

"Pineapple cousin~~~"

"Tch." Mukuro's eye twitched as he pushed Fran away by the hat with two fingers. "Collect your bags, we're going."

"So stingy, I'm just an innocent child~" Mukuro's eye only twitched again in response, he wasn't going to feed Fran more comebacks. Fran looked to the side and saw the suitcase Squalo threw out the door a few hours ago moving along the conveyor belt. He quickly ran up to grab it and followed Mukuro who was already exiting the airport.

The two began to walk down the street all the way to Kokuyo.

"Are we walking the whole time~?" Fran droned as he already began to fall behind.

"Stop complaining. You're a member of Varia and can run farther distances than this," Mukuro groaned as Fran was already pissing him off.

"Don't assume things."

"Deal with it!"

"Child abuser!"

Mukuro's eye twitched for the fourth time today as he tried to ignore the apple. However, his efforts were futile.

"How much longer~?"

"We're almost there."

"My bag's heavy."

"..."

"Do you know why Squalo-san kicked me out? I don't know what I did wrong."

"..."

"The flight was boring."

"..."

"When did you decide you wanted to become a pineapple?"

"..."

"Kinda funny because I'm an apple… You're a pineapple. Get it? Piney. Pineapple, apple, cousins, fruit, hairsty-"

"Will you shut up!" Mukuro turned around and poked his trident through Fran's hat.

"You're so mean…" Fran pouted and finally went quiet for a while. As soon as they arrived at Kokuyo land Fran ran inside the abandoned building, "Keeen! Chikusaaa!"

Mukuro swore under his breath and closed his eyes, "Ken, Chikusa, M.M, I'm sorry."

Ken, Chikusa and M.M woke up again suddenly as they heard the monotone shouting of the apple child they dreaded. "Oh no," M.M held her breath, "He's here…"

Fran ran into the room they were in, "I'm here!"

The three of them all looked at each other, then back to Fran, giving him the most convincingly happy smiles they could. "Hey Fran! Nice to see you again...byon…" Ken's voice faded as Mukuro entered the room with a distraught look on his face.

/

"FRAN THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU USE AN EYELASH CURLER FOR!" everyone heard M.M scream at the top of her lungs. Ken looked up from his Nintendo DS and towards the bathroom where he heard her scream.

"Then what do you use it for?" Fran asked curiously. It looked like something to pinch your skin with if you tried hard enough, but it wasn't pinching his finger hard enough.

M.M sighed heavily and put her hands on her hips, "Okay so it's called an EYELASH CURLER right? So this is what you do," she took the eyelash curler from him and sat on a small stool so she could see his face properly. As it got closer and closer to him, Fran closed his eye and backed off. "You're the one who asked," M.M frowned.

"I don't want that thing near my eyes."

She sighed, what was Mukuro-chan thinking? Suddenly something clicked and she asked Fran, "Hey, do you think I could change how you look?"

"Huh? You can do that? But you don't have illusions."

"Oh come on, I don't need illusions to make someone look different!" she stood up and pulled her makeup kit from one of the drawers. "All you need is this," she opened the box filled with palettes and sticks and pencils, none of which Fran had ever seen before - and M.M knew full well. She knew that a bunch of knuckleheads like Varia wouldn't wear any makeup, not even Lussuria. That was her perfect chance to get back at Fran for annoying the crap out of her.

"Hm…" Fran stared at the make-up box for a few seconds and then declared with a poker face, "if I can have some candy afterwards you can touch me my face all you want."

"Uh… sure?" M.M mumbled to herself as she guided Fran to a seat and began her work. Anything to get payback on this annoying brat.

She started by taking Fran's apple hat off, picking up two hairbands and brushing his hair back into two stubby pigtails on either side of his head, so only his bangs were down. Then she grabbed her foundation out of the make-up kit and began smearing it all over his face. Fran winced a few times, but nothing that was too bothering.

M.M then took some powder to set the foundation and began working on his eyes. Silver, sparkly eyeliner outlined his eyes so much that it covered the little purple triangles the edges. She then picked up a green eyeshadow to cover most of the sparkles on the tops of his eyes and worked the color all the way up to his eyebrows. Finally, M.M took some red blush to cover his cheeks in and smudged red lipstick all around his mouth.

Once her masterpiece was done, M.M took a step back to admire her work.

"How do I look?" Fran asked as he hopped down from the chair.

M.M tried to hold back her laughter as she pushed him into the other room so the rest could see him. The second Ken look up, he burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. "What is that!?"

Fran looked into the mirror that was passed to him. He hesitated but then exclaimed, "I'm a model! Airplane!" The newly transformed apple ran around the whole room with his arms outstretched, knocking everything over in the process.

"FRAN! Stop that!" Mukuro began to chase after him. Fran began jumping over the furniture and kicked everything over knowing Mukuro wouldn't step on anything. "Chikusa! Ken!"

Chikusa jumped in front of Fran and grabbed him from underneath his arms. He lifted him up so Fran could barely kick Chikusa in the torso. "Let me go!" he strugged.

Mukuro stepped over the toppled furniture and grabbed Fran's head, "I've got someone I can take you to…"

/

"Are you sure about this, Mukuro-sama?" Chikusa asked as they walked up the stairs to the small apartment block.

"If he's going to mess up everything in Kokuyo Land then I have no choice." Mukuro knocked on the door.

Jana answered the door, "Yes?"

"You can have him," Mukuro tossed Fran onto the ground and vanished with his illusion.

END OF CHAPTER


	5. Chapter 5: Fran Comes to Japan (part 2)

**Chapter 5 - Fran Comes to Japan (Part 2)**

Fran rubbed his head as he stood up, picking up the apple hat that was left next to him by Chikusa. He looked around and then saw his older sister standing at the door in front of him. "Heey, big sister…"

"Kristina!?" Jana stormed into the apartment and dragged Kristina out to deal with Fran for her.

She was pushed into the doorway, "Ow!" She turned around, "Jana what the hell?! Who is it you don't wanna deal with-...oh." When she saw Fran right outside she realised why she got dragged out. While everyone hated Fran and didn't want to deal with any of his crap, Kristina felt sorry for him and kinda took on the role of taking care of him every now and then. Except when she saw his face caked with horribly applied makeup she couldn't help but burst into tears laughing.

"Stop laughing." Fran kicked her shin.

"Ow!" she calmed down and sighed, then sat on her knees so she could see him, "Fran, what are you doing here?"

"The stupid long-haired captain kicked me out of the castle and sent me to Mukuro-shi, and then Mukuro-shi and Chikusa dropped me here."

Kristina looked back at Jana who was shaking her head, her expression screaming volumes of _no do not let him in do not do not DO NOT._

She looked back at Fran, "We should send you back to Varia, they're supposed to be responsible for your safety."

Jana started nodding, _Yes! Thank you! We send him back to Italy!_

"So until then why don't you stay with us until we go visit them? It'll only be a few days."

_NO!_

"Okay~" Fran threw his apple hat into Kristina's arms and pushed by her into the apartment. He began running around, trying to explore every corner. "So this is where you live. It's much smaller than Italy."

Fran had finished exploring the main room and was about to open one of the doors in the corner until Jana stepped in front of him. She pushed him back with her fingers on his head the same way Mukuro had when Fran first arrived in Italy. _Why does everybody always do that to him._ "Ah. Ah. Ah. If you're staying here don't even think of entering my room there. I don't care about Kristina's because she let you in but don't even touch my door. You're going to sleep on the couch and do not touch anything that looks even vaguely delicate. Pomme stupide."

"Tu es un imbécile!" Fran pouted and turned around to run away. Jana gasped at Fran's insult but decided to just go to her room and avoid the kid at any cost.

Kristina walked over to Fran and guided him to the bathroom. "Let's get that makeup off of you." She placed his apple hat on the ground, picked him up and placed him on the counter. Fran kicked his legs as Kristina searched in a cabinet for makeup remover. She started by removing the many layers of makeup off his face. M.M actually had good quality, long-lasting makeup and it took multiple tries to finally scrub it off.

Once his face was clean, Kristina pulled out the two hairbands and brushed his hair back to normal. She finished by placing the hat back on his head. "All done!"

/

"He can stay here, he's not going to school with us."

"He's too young to be left alone," Kristina argued back as Fran nodded his head. He desperately wanted to see their school and if acting innocent would get him there, so be it.

"Ohh I'm sure he'll be fine," Jana looked over at Fran pretending to act lonely. She knew from experience it was all just an act to manipulate people and Fran knew darn well Kristina would listen to him. "He can survive a few hours." Jana pushed Kristina out the door and looked back to her brother while pushing up her glasses. "Fran, don't do anything while we're gone.

Kristina pouted but the two began walking to school anyway. When they reached the front gates everyone was already there. Kristina ran up and waved to them, "Hi!"

"Hey," Tsuna smiled as he turned around and saw them arriving.

Jana also walked up and was about to greet them but was interrupted, "hel-" She was tripped and fell directly on her face.

Fran appeared from behind her as he unmasked his illusion. "Take that for leaving me behind~"

"Haha who's that? You okay?" Yamamoto was about to walk over but stopped when he saw that Jana already stood up and was facing the apple kid with a very pissed expression on her face. Everyone recognised him - you just cannot mistake that hat.

"W-why's he here?" Tsuna looked over to Kristina.

"He was kicked out of Ita-" the two were interrupted when they heard the siblings begin arguing.

"Fran, je vais tu faire dans une tarte aux pommes si tu recommences. Tu est une pomme pourrie." Jana had started insulting Fran calmly in their native language.

Fran fired back monotonously, "tu ne pouvez pas me faire du mal, sœur stupide."

"Essayez-moi."

"Tu es ennuyeux."

"Tu es un idiot."

"Pourquoi es-tu si méchant? Je vais tu faire trébucher à nouveau." Fran frowned as he readied out his leg.

"Je vais dire Bel de vous rendre dans une pomme brochettes."

_**(Translations starting from the first french line in the apartment and continuing on:**_

_J: Stupid apple_

_F: You are an imbecile_

_J: Fran, I will turn you into an apple pie if you do that again. You are a bad apple._

_F: You can't hurt me, stupid sister_

_J: Try me_

_F: You are annoying_

_J: You are an idiot_

_F: Why are you so mean? I will trip you again._

_J: I will tell Bel to make you into a skewered apple._

**_)_**

Tsuna whispered, "What are they saying?"

Kristina shrugged, "Dunno, I don't speak French. But I'm doubley sure she said apple like five times."

The whole group awkwardly watched the siblings arguing in French, occasionally trying to guess what they were calling each other since they figured they were names. Soon other students gathered around to see what was happening but they were even more confused. Like, why did that kid have an apple hat? And why was his hair green?

It wasn't long until almost a whole grade was there. But then…

"Hey, what's going on here?"

The firm, quiet but recognisable voice struck fear into all the students at the scene. All the attention turned to the head of the Disciplinary Committee standing inside the gate waiting for an answer...or not. Everyone besides the Vongola ran for the lives past him and into the school.

Hibari analysed his 'comrades'. "It always seems to be you lot."

Gokudera looked at Fran, "Go, don't let him see you here!"

"Why not~?"

"Who's there?" Hibari strode out the gates and towards the unfamiliar voice he heard. When he saw him, he looked down at Fran, "The apple child?" Suddenly he started looking around with his vicious steel eyes, "Is Rokudo Mukuro around?"

"He's not here," Yamamoto explained, "Fran's just visiting his older sister, that's all."

Hibari, slightly disappointed, relaxed his arms and started walking back inside, "Take him home before class starts."

Tsuna sighed with relief, "Hibari-san's always scary…"

Jana got straight to it, "We're not leaving him at home."

"Even when we did he came along…" Kristina sighed.

Tsuna sighed, "How about I take him back to my house and he can stay there for the day? I mean, Reborn's at home so I doubt he'll do anything stupid when he's around."

"Oh! Nice one, Tenth!"

"Thanks for that," Jana started to feel relieved, "Do you want one of us to come with you?"

"That's okay, I can go by myself. Class is starting anyway. Come on, Fran," Tsuna motioned for Fran to go with him, and off they went.

Yamamoto heard the bell ring, "Ah, we better get to class or Hibari will really bite us to death!" They ran inside.

/

"So," Tsuna tried to bring up conversation, "Why did Squalo-san kick you out of the castle?"

Fran pouted at the memory. "I don't know, he just threw me and my stuff into a car to go to the airport."

"That's unfortunate…" Though he said that, he knew it was most probably because he was being really annoying and the Varia were just done. He knew they were scary, but he didn't think they'd kick out their own. "Are you going to be here forever?"

"No, just for a while."

Tsuna sighed with relief, he might not have spent much time with Fran but he could already tell how annoying he was. And he did not want another annoying kid free-loading off of his house forever.

As they made it to his house, Tsuna opened the door and let Fran in. He looked around the corner to see Nana hanging up some laundry to dry in the sun. "Mom I'm leaving a friend's little brother here for a few hours. Is that okay?"

Nana looked at Fran who was already introducing himself to Lambo, I-Pin and Fuuta. "Sure that's fine," she smiled and continued hanging up the clothes.

Tsuna thanked his mother and quickly tried to leave the house before Reborn found out he was missing school. Just before he closed the front door to a successful escape, Tsuna received a blow to the back of the head with two tiny feet. "Dame-Tsuna! Why aren't you in school?" Reborn held out Leon in the shape of a hammer, threatening to whack Tsuna with it.

"R-reborn…! I was just dropping off Fran-san. He made it to school and Hibari-san threatened to bite us to death."

The arcobaleno narrowed his eyes as saw an apple hat poking out of the corner, playing with the other kids._ Why was the Varia here?_ _Had anyone else come? But he should've noticed even if it is just Fran. _He asked himself as Tsuna quickly snuck away and ran down the street back to school. _It could be trouble but it could also just be the kid. _To find out why, Reborn walked over to Fran and waved, "ciaossu!"

Fran looked up, "Hello."

"So Fran, what brings a Varia officer like you here? Mission? Any other work?"

Fran squinted his eyes at the infant and kept a completely straight face as he said, "The long haired captain kicked me out."

"Squalo did? That's not like him."

He rolled his eyes, "He threw me into the car."

Reborn figured he probably didn't want to talk about the story, since Tsuna probably already asked him. "How's your time in Japan been?"

"Mukuro-shi picked me up from the airport and we went back to Kokuyo Land. I stayed there for a few days with them. But then one day I was playing with M.M's eyelash curler or whatever it was called and-"

_Sheesh, _Reborn thought, _no wonder why Varia kicked him out. _He was almost as annoying as Lambo. Not in the way that Lambo is always screaming and crying and demanding attention, but Fran was always just being a smart-ass and insulting people. "So has there been _anyone _who's been nice to you?"

He shrugged, "Chikusa never got angry and Kristina let me stay with her and Jana."

"Ah, I see." Reborn wasn't really interested in the story anymore, since it wasn't really anything important. Besides, it had nothing to do with him - he just had to deal with him for a few hours until someone went back to get him. He gently picked up his cup of espresso and drunk from it.

Lambo ran outside and jumped on the grass with I-Pin and Fuuta who was lagging behind, "Lambo! Wait for me!"

Reborn saw Fran watching the children play, and it was almost as though he wanted to join them. "You don't want to play with them?" he asked but Fran shook his head.

But Lambo ran up to Fran. "Hey, hey!" He pointed to Fran's hat, "Why do you have an apple on your head!?"

"Because I can."

"What's your name!?"

"It's Fran."

Lambo burst out laughing, "That's a funny name!"

Fran stared at him blankly. "What's yours?"

"My name is the great Lambo of the Bovino Family!"

He looked away, "Weak."

Before Lambo could get angry and start screaming, which Reborn dreaded greatly, everything around them began to float. Everyone around the place were swept off their feet and started to levitate. Fuuta was sitting on the grass with his big red book open as he stared up into the sky, "For the likelihood of calm verbal assault, Fran is ranked number two."

There was a glint of jealousy in Fran's eyes. Who could've verbally abused anyone more than Fran? Mukuro-shi? No… "Who's number one?"

After a moment Fuuta spoke up, "the Arcobaleno, Reborn. He has insulted Sawada Tsunayoshi too many times to count. Among with much more verbal assault to others." After that Fuuta closed the book and everything had fallen to the ground. As the kids continued playing, Fran slowly looked over to Reborn, who was calmly drinking a cup of espresso.

There was no way this baby beat Fran, his insults didn't even have imagination. Fran at least added thought to his abuse or it was unconscious. But he was still better than Reborn!

"You only insult people because you're jealous of their height."

"Hm?" Reborn stopped drinking and looked over at Fran.

"I wish I could say you grew since the last time I saw you… but I can't." Fran kept the insults coming - his child instincts made him want to be number one.

This time Reborn placed his cup on the ground. "What did you say?"

"You're just an envious midget who's too short to do anything."

Reborn turned to Fran and looked at him dead in the eye, "I'll have you know that I am an Arcobaleno and did not choose to be this small. But at the same time that doesn't change the fact I could completely obliterate you in a fight, so don't try." He turned away to watch Lambo, I-Pin and Fuuta play together.

Fran suddenly figured out why Reborn was number one at verbal assault. It wasn't necessarily verbal assault, but he was able to defend and argue against someone no matter what they threw at him. Fran was always the one who would start it, but no matter what he said he could never make the other person draw back and realise he was right -they'd just stab him because they could. Reborn was certainly a hitman of high caliber, it would be unwise to mess with him. But then again, since when did Fran ever believe in wisdom?

He looked at Reborn with a judgmental and almost disgusted look on his face, "Why a chameleon?"

"I tend to use a large variations of objects and weapons and he can transform into anything," Reborn immediately answered his stupid question. "I also like chameleons."

"Well you can do that with illusions," Fran snuffed.

"Not everyone is born with mist flames."

"So if people with mist flames were superior to the others, wouldn't that make me superior to you?"

"Yes, however, thinking you're better than others because of the flame you were born with is ridiculous because flame has nothing to do with character. Take Mukuro for example, he's not a man who jokes around and he always gets to the point. You, on the other hand, are the same but you do so in a vague way so no one takes you seriously and just stab you for being an idiot."

_Touchdown_.

For the first time someone other than a family member had cracked Fran. His eye twitched. "An idiot couldn't manipulate someone."

"Manipulate them to hurt you."

This time Fran's whole body twitched. The world should've exploded because the apple didn't have a comeback. When Fran did not reply and only glared at the baby, Reborn scoffed as he walked away back into the house.

Fran was extremely frustrated at the loss between verbal assault, but at the same time… he grew a newfound respect for Reborn. He was good, Fran would give him that and maybe there was even something he could learn from this incident. For the rest of the day, Fran sat outside thinking of the best comeback for Reborn and insult for everyone else currently at school who ditched him. He needed to come up with something great.

/

When school finished, everyone walked back to Tsuna's house but Jana and Kristina were also there to pick up Fran.

As soon as they all entered the house, Fran walked to the door from around the corner and began by monotonously firing at Tsuna, "One day your hair will catch on fire and you'll be bald - even uglier than Levi-san. The reason it's so large is because it collects all of your failures in life. It grows like pinocchio's nose but with failures." As Tsuna stood there speechless and Gokudera was about to fire back, Fran turned to him. "Octopuses are slippery and wet, so one day you're going to slip and fail your boss. This failure from slipping could lead to his failure, injury and maybe even death. I mean, I've never heard of an octopus as a right-hand man.

You will probably slip too." Fran looked to Yamamoto. "Since you're always surrounded by water, doesn't that make you pruney? Is that why you're so airheaded? The water must be sucking out the brain." He then turned to Kristina standing at the door, shocked from what was happening. "And you're a stupid girl who can't make her own decisions, but when she does they are to be a drain on society, such as becoming a professional musician. You also have a terrible taste in men."

Reborn hopped down from upstairs, "that's enough Fran."

Fran only retaliated, "I can be direct, straightforward and get to the point in an obvious way too. It's not only my idiot pineapple cousin who can do it. For example, that chameleon is your only friend. Everyone else just act like they care because they're too scared of you." Fran blinked calmly as he created a phone book, "I do have a list of potential friends here though."

Jana exclaimed and walked up to the apple, "Fran! You're going too far, where the hell did this all come from?!"

The boy looked up at his sister, "you can't boss me around. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and you should be careful about tripping all the time, your head might fall off. You're such a boudin."

_(Boudin is a traditional French blood sausage and very unpleasant in its taste. It is also French slang for an ugly woman or an old prostitute.)_

Jana gasped and grabbed Fran by the ear, "you did not just call me a boudin you little brat."

"Okay that's it, that's it," Kristina grabbed Fran's arm and held onto it so tightly he felt like she was going to break it. "We're taking him back to Italy right now. Besides, it's Friday, there shouldn't be any problems."

Reborn walked off to the phone, "I'll get you a car."

The two girls dragged Fran out of the house and kept scolding him. Even after they left the house they were standing outside the Sawada residence still holding onto him while waiting for the car. After about 10 minutes, the car arrived and they threw Fran in the front so neither of them would have to sit with him. It was a long ride to the airport, but since it would mean sending Fran back to Italy then it was worth it.

_END OF CHAPTER_


	6. Chapter 6: Visiting Varia

There was still another hour until the plane landed in Italy and from there a private car would take the three to Varia mansion in the middle of a forest. Both Kristina and Fran were sleeping while Jana sat in the middle of the two playing sudoku - taking advantage of the quiet.

It had only been about twenty minutes earlier that Fran had finally fallen asleep. After the verbal battle to store his apple hat in the overhead locker, when Fran lost he made it a point to piss his sister off for the rest of the flight.

However, it seemed the constant nagging for the day finally wore him out enough to sleep silently. Just as Jana had finished another puzzle and turned to the next one, the plane went through some turbulence and woke both Kristina and Fran up.

"Wha-?"

Kristina straightened up in the seat and checked her phone. "How much longer is the flight?"

"An hour or so," Jana replied as she eyed Fran from her peripheral vision slowly getting up and rubbing his face. He still seemed drained and out of it - so much that he wasn't even acting much like he was earlier.

Jana cringed as Fran leaned over and grabbed her arm as he rested his head against it and asked, "what are you doing~?"

"Sudoku." She didn't bother saying anything else. "Don't bother me."

"Oh." Fran got off her arm and went to the bathroom.

Jana sighed heavily and looked at Kristina, "Why did I have to sit in the middle?"

"I tried to sit in the middle so you didn't have to deal with Fran but then he insisted to be with his older sister. And after he insulted me like that I was done. We only have another hour."

"Did you really start believing his crap?" she rolled her eyes.

"No but it still hurt."

Fran sat back down and curled into a ball, "Goodnight."

_At least he just went to sleep, _they thought.

/

"Hmmm," Lussuria sat at the bottom of the stairs near the front door, "when do you think they're gonna be here?"

"How should I know?" Squalo folded his arms as he walked past.

They both suddenly heard a car stopping outside. "That should be them!" He got up and opened the door, "Jana! Kristina! Welcome back-! And oh...you brought Fran…"

"Mukuro left him with us," Kristina responded.

Jana pushed Fran towards the entrance of the mansion, "and as if I was going to leave him in Japan."

Fran ran up to Squalo and gave him a hug, purposely making sure the apple hat hit him in the face. "Hi long haired captain~ Did you miss me~?"

"Voi Fran! Piss off!" Squalo pushed Fran off and walked down to the car where Lussuria, Kristina and Jana were talking. Fran on the other hand, ran inside the mansion to greet everyone and making it a point that they probably did not miss him at all.

As Kristina saw Squalo, she ran up and gave him a hug, "Squalo!"

"VOI! Enough with the hugs!"

After a few more minutes of talking, they grabbed their bags and made their way into the mansion. Lussuria led them to one of the many living rooms to greet the others. Bel and Marmon were currently versing each other in a video game while Levi watched - because obviously no one wants to play with Levi.

"Ishishi the prince wins again!"

"Umu," Marmon looked up to the door to see the girls walking in and making themselves at home, "you're here."

"Well what does it look like," Jana laughed as she sat down on a chair and made herself comfortable after the long flight.

Bel frowned as he realised something, "does that mean the apple is also-"

"FUCK OFF, TRASH!" There was a flash of bright light from the other room.

"Boss!" Levi shot up from his place on the couch. "I'm coming, Boss!" He rushed into the dining room. Puffs of smoke and dust flew out of the room as soon as he opened the door. When it cleared he saw Fran lying on the ground, barely moving. "Oh, it was just Fran." He picked him up by the back of his collar and dragged him out of the room.

Kristina lied down on one of the couches, "Aaahhh they're always so comfy…"

Squalo sat down as well and started asking Kristina and Jana random questions, "So, what'd you think of the Vongola brats?"

"They were really nice~" Kristina rolled over on her stomach and used a cushion as a pillow. "Right, Jana?"

"Yeah, we thought they'd be really childish or something considering how you described them but," she shrugged, "they weren't like that."

"The negative opinions are probably because of the fact they lost to teenagers in a fight over magical jewellery."

Squalo's eye twitched and then tried to get off the subject of losing the Ring Conflict. "Any guys you're interested in?" _VOI! WHAT?! _He internally facepalmed and beat himself up for asking such a dumb question.

It seemed like the two girls felt the same way about that last question. Kristina kicked her legs, "Hmm, not really. But I'm kind of interested in Yamamoto. Like, it'd be cool to get to know him better."

"What?!" Jana looked at her like an idiot. "Really?!"

"Huh? He's nice! What about you then?!"

"No."

"VOI, KRISTINA, YOU LIKE THE BASEBALL IDIOT?! HE WORE OPEN TOED SANDALS DURING THE RING BATTLE, I DON'T APPROVE OF THIS!"

Kristina burst out laughing until Xanxus entered the room, "Trash, go make me steak."

"Fine, fine," Jana said as they got up and walked to the kitchen talking to each other. "What kind should we make?"

"Don't we usually make medium rare? I don't even remember anymore…" Their voices faded out as the kitchen doors closed behind them.

/

"It really has been some time since we cooked in this kitchen, I can't remember where half the stuff we need is anymore." Jana scratched her head and she searched through the cabinets to find ingredients for the marinade. However, the girls hadn't even found a pan yet so she might be skipping a little too much ahead. "Uh, Kristina?" Jana called out to Kristina who was in the second room of the kitchen. Well, more like pantry. But this pantry was so big it could really be a second room.

Kristina poked her head out of the door, she had multiple pots and pans in her hands as she searched for the right one. "Yeah?"

"Could you find and ask one of the chefs where all the stuff is. It's like a maze in here and I think we're more likely to get killed by Xanxus for being incompetent than find a tomato."

"Can you do it? I'm kind of busy here," Kristina frowned as she dropped a few pans. "Shit!"

"But you speak better Italian than me~ It's your native language, I speak French. I always mix up words because they're so similar and I don't want to look like an idiot," Jana stuck out her tongue.

"Bullshit."

"Hey!"

"You've gone to school here for years and we're speaking it right now! Come up with a better excuse next time." Kristina turned around and searched through the pile until she finally found the right pan. "Aha!"

"Grr…" Jana walked out of the kitchen and back into the main living room.

Bel looked up from his winning streak against Fran in a video game, "Ishishi, food ready?"

"No." Jana walked past Bel and to Lussuria, "where are the chefs currently?"

"The west wing. It's their break so they're probably in the lounge room with some other servants."

/

"... And all the meat is in this fridge here." The main chef, who introduced himself as Luca, finished orally mapping out the kitchen by pointing at the last fridge in the row of fridges. Why does Varia have so many fridges? Why do you need to ask that question?

"Thank you Luca, they really changed the position of everything in the kitchen." Kristina smiled as she tossed him an apple.

"No problem," He took a bite and was just happy that there was finally someone (who was not a servant) that was pleasant in this mansion. "Find me if you need help with anything at all." Luca turned and left the kitchen waving his free hand in the air. "Good luck."

The girls finally got to work on the steak. About halfway through cooking the many steaks and sides, the smell began to waft throughout the other rooms.

All of a sudden, Squalo barged into the kitchen, "VOI! Are they ready yet?!"

Fran walked in behind him and began poking Squalo's arm, "Be patient."

"We're almost done! Maybe another 15 minutes!" Jana called.

"Ishishi, give them a break. You never know, they might poison your food," Bel placed his hand on Squalo's shoulder.

"Voi, they wouldn't do that."

"Maybe not your sister, but Jana could do it in a heartbeat, ishishishi."

Out of nowhere, Xanxus casually burst into the kitchen and kicked Squalo to the ground on his face. "Oi, where's the food, woman?"

"We're nearly done, don't worry…" Kristina lightly waved her hand and sighed.

Bel laughed, "Ishishi, that was like reality TV."

"Bel, shut up," Jana spun around and turned to Xanxus, "and Xanxus, five more minutes."

Marmon hovered in as well, "What's with all the racket? I'm trying to count my money."

"Yeah I'll just leave you guys here," Kristina mumbled and started to walk away. "Come on Jana, the steak's almost done." The two walked back over to the stove and finished cooking the multiple steaks.

After a few more quiet minutes of the girls making sure the steaks were perfect, Fran went over to the two. He stood on his toes and leaned over Kristina's shoulder.

"Fran what are you doing?"

"I don't know…" He fell back onto his heels and paced around the kitchen. Occasionally he would also pick up some spices and play with them until placing them back down, in the wrong place, and continue pacing.

Jana was becoming very annoyed, "what do you want?"

"What's a girlfriend?"

"Huh?!"

Both Kristina and Jana dropped the utensils they were holding and turned to Fran in shock. The boy just stared back with a blank expression and his hands behind his back like usual. "Why do you want to know?" Jana pushed up her glasses.

"'Cause."

Kristina scratched her head, trying to explain it in the best way she could, "um, a girl you like and want to spend time with…?"

Fran thought for a moment before speaking again (that's a first), "so how would I get a girl I like to be my girlfriend?"

Jana laughed as she turned back to the steaks, making sure they didn't burn. "You ask her."

"A girl I like…" Fran mumbled to himself. "But I like you, Jana."

"Well that's because I'm your sister. It's different. I mean someone other than family. It's like having a really close friend but you also love them romantically."

Fran nodded. "So if there was a girl I liked, would that mean I would want her to be my girlfriend?"

"Basically."

He turned his head to Kristina, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Huh?" she barely heard him and turned around with the knife in her hand.

"No- Fran," Jana facepalmed, "not like that. You don't want to marry her or anything…"

"Then who else is there?"

**BEEP BEEP BEEP!**

"That's the whole point of meeting people," Jana said hastily while running to the oven. "Shit!"

Kristina followed, "Fran, can you tell everyone the food's ready please!"

"Okaaaay~," Fran stood up and left the kitchen.

Jana asked one of the maids to set the table while the two girls brought out the food. Xanxus was already sitting at the table ready for the food. The maid filled his glass with the wine that was given to her and Kristina placed the first steak in front of him and then put the others in front of all the empty seats. The rest of the Varia began to enter the dining room as the last plate was placed on the table.

Lussuria clapped his hands together as he sat down, "it smells good~!"

"Haha, thanks." Jana smiled as she sat down as well. Fran purposely made it a point to sit down in between Squalo and Jana as well as across from Bel. His apple hat hit Squalo's head, elbow hit Jana while his foot 'accidently' kicked Bel in the shin.

"Whoops," he uttered monotonously as he began to cut into his steak.

Jana frowned, "faites attention!"_ (be careful)_

Bel raised his knife, "ishishi, you want to die kid?"

"VOI! Pay attention Fran!" Squalo rubbed his head as he shouted at Fran.

The three stood up, ready to kill the apple, when Fran ignored them by slowly scratching his knife and fork against the plate.

Kristina raised her arms, "hey can we eat in peace for once?" After that there was an awkward silence.

Then Lussuria broke it, "This is some really good steak."

"Thank you."

"Thanks." The silence came up again but it was slightly less awkward because everyone was eating. But Jana decided to talk anyway, "By the way, where's Levi?"

"Levi just went on a mission a few minutes ago, he won't be back for a while." Marmon continued to count his money.

Bel swallowed part of his steak and gave a cheshire grin, "At least we won't have the octopus head around."

"'Cause Levi-san's the weakest out of all of us," Fran took a large bite out of his steak.

"So you sent him?" Kristina questioned as she looked at Squalo who simply nodded. "And what's he doing?"

"Trying to find Slenderman. Though for this kind of mission I'd be sent, but Levi has his squad so we thought it might be better to send him."

"But Slenderman isn't even real!"

Squalo stood up so quickly the chair behind him fell to the ground, "YES HE IS AND WE'RE TRYING TO FIND HIM! WE ALREADY HAD THIS DEBATE!"

Kristina did the same, "He's not real! It's just a story!"

"THEN EXPLAIN ALL THE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE VARIA HAS TAKEN OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS!"

"Didn't they find them on the internet!? They're photoshopped!"

"VOI DON'T DOUBT US!" Squalo lunged over the dining table and punched his sister. He then stood up and casually walked back to his seat.

Kristina rubbed her arm, "calm down."

Jana leaned forward in her seat towards Squalo excited by this, "can I see the evidence? Was there any sign of his proxies?!"

Squalo folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, "see someone believes us." Kristina glared at Squalo, still not believing him.

"No really," Jana continued. "Can I see the evidence? Did you see him in person? Is he in Italy - because I know some ways we can find him!"

"Trash shut up!" Xanxus threw the empty bottle of wine at Squalo's head.

"VOOII!"

Everyone was quiet again until Fran spoke up, "can we continue our previous conversation."

Lussuria looked up and smiled, "what conversation?"

"About-"

Jana leaned over and covered Fran's mouth, "sh! It doesn't matter." She looked over at Lussuria, not wanting to get him involved in this topic with Fran.

However, Fran bit Jana's finger and continued to talk. "How to get a girlfriend."

Lussuria grinned widely, ready to take over. "I got plenty of tips and tricks to help you get one. I mean first-"

"Stop!" Everyone in the room besides Xanxus and Fran shouted at Lussuria.

"But I want to know," Fran puffed out his cheeks.

Squalo's eye twitched, "Fran, you're nine. It really doesn't matter."

"But captain, what is love?"

Kristina murmured, "Squalo doesn't know no love."

"VOI! I HEARD THAT!"

Jana sighed, "Just Google 'Love is...' and lets leave it at that."

But Fran completely ignored her and turned to Lussuria instead. "Lussuria-san, have you ever had a girlfriend?" _Maybe he'll answer, _he thought to himself as the other three were violently shaking their heads hoping Lussuria wouldn't give any stupid advice.

Lussuria clapped his hands together and smiled, "Ooh, my little Fran's growing up."

Jana averted her eyes to the side and made a disgusted face, "First of all, he's not _your _little Fran. And secondly, that doesn't sound right."

"VOI! It's because Lussuria is an okama so he's not interested in women…" Squalo said and then Fran asked Lussuria if he ever had a boyfriend.

"No, no, my dear Fran. I haven't."

"Then does anyone else know what love is?" Fran looked up towards the ceiling and raised his hands into the air, attempting to grasp the little understanding he had of loving emotions.

Suddenly the tall double doors slammed open as Marmon came flying in, "Love is money." When everyone else in the room who were listening cocked their eyebrows at him he began to explain himself, "If you want to know love, Fran, then it is money. _Everything _revolves around money."

Kristina whispered to Jana, "Hence capitalism."

"For example, you can make money with love by-"

"OKAY NO! STOP RIGHT THERE!" Jana cut him off and then took a deep breath when he decided to be quiet. "Fran, can we have this talk in like six years or something?"

"But Janaaa that's too far away."

"Wait a sec!" a light bulb flashed in Kristina's head. "If you really want to know what love is, then you could ask Bianchi!"

Bel clicked his tongue. "Fran, love is when you really want to kill someone."

"Bel-senpai, that's hate."

"GET OFF THIS TOPIC ALREADY OR I'LL SMASH ALL YOUR FACES!" Xanxus' voice echoed through the entire dining room, rebounding off the walls and making it even louder.

"Someone has difficulties with love," Lussuria muttered under his breath but quickly took a chug of wine when Xanxus glared threateningly at him.

/

Fran sat on his bed in the dark. The only thing illuminating the room was the laptop on top of his sheets. Everything was silent as Fran opened google and typed into the search bar:

_Love is_

**END OF CHAPTER**


End file.
